To Revs, or not to Revs

by OWAIN GLYN EVANS

To Revs, or not to Revs, that is the question:

Whether tis wiser in the mind to study

The plays and sonnets of outrageous Shakespeare,

Or to take pen against a sea of essays,

And by opposing complete them: to header to footer;

No more; and by a footer, to say we end

The head-ache, and the thousand word essay

That student is heir to? ‘tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish’d. To header to footer,

To footer, perchance to free; ay, there’s the catch,

For in that footer of an essay, what nights may come,

When we have shuffled off this academic coil,

Must give us rest. There’s the freedom

That makes purpose of so long study:

For who would bear the lectures and seminars of time,

The slideshows typo, the show-off’s first,

The pangs of failed essays, the email’s delay,

The insolence of lecturers, and the advantage

Of the good student the bad student takes,

When he himself might his freedom make,

With an open Bud? who would responsibilities bear,

To tweet and share over a weary life,

But that the dread of something after university,

The undiscovered occupation, from whose bourn

No youth returns, puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those essays we have,

Than leave to jobs that we know not of.

Thus conscience does make good students of us all,

And thus the native hue of a night out

Is ruined o’er, with the pale cast of thought,

And parties of great pith and moment,

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of fun.

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