A Grey Matter

by OWAIN GLYN EVANS

Hiya.

Today, I became a victim to an event that every man dreads with extreme trepidation; an experience so pivotal in the life of every man that walks this earth. I found grey hair. It was one of those moments where everything around you becomes irrelevant, when all else loses meaning, and you lose yourself in an instant like the scramble for dropped change in a queue or the flailing pursuit of balance when you tilt too far back on a chair. The moment will haunt me for the rest of my life as the moment I began to age in the opposite direction; the day I began to die.

When faced with a problem I have always found that leaving it and walking away is always better than trying to solve it. It’s like an itch on the roof of your mouth, scratching it just makes it worse. Yet I feel as if I am obliged by the social norm to do something about this particular issue; to deny, to avoid, or to stop. For me though, dyeing feels feeble, plucking seems desperate and shaving simply is not an option. So, what should I do?

The whole situation reminds me of a football match I attended yesterday. It was Cardiff versus Blackburn and upon a skilful flick by the grey-headed 29-year-old Kevin McNaughton I shouted out, “The Silver Fox!” an apt nickname given to him by footballers and fans alike. Subsequently, a fan in front of me, with hair of a similar fortune, turned to face us and reply with pretence of sincerity, “Yeah?” before releasing a laugh of which we all joined. This man, with a head full of hair of identical colour to the five I have so miserably found on myself, was able to make a joke out of himself and his ‘condition’ whereas I have analysed the situation to degree of utmost seriousness. Perhaps this man has already experienced years of denial, depression, and anger before finally accepting the natural decline of his physical being, a cycle I could so easily spark upon today’s discovery. Most probably though, I’ll skip these stages albeit through pure laziness, but at least I won’t get grey hairs over it, if you’ll pardon the pun. Acceptance looks like it’s just around the corner and I’m sure it won’t be long until I start seeing the benefits of such a distinguished look.

Nonetheless, just as I began to welcome these natural changes through the writing and thought process of this blog, my girlfriend arrives and recoils in disgust at the sighting of my new silvery friends.

Ah.

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